Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Lang-8 revision (友達へのメール)



ジェシカさん、

今週の金曜日ですが、楽しみですね。ジェシカさんはSakura Express レストランへ行き方が知らないので、私が教えましょう。

まず、Frist Campus Center前のドアを出て、まっすぐ行くと、アーチが見えます。アーチをくぐって、左側の斜めの道を道なりに行きます。つきあたりにWitherspoon の銅像があります。銅像の左側の道を行きます。つきあたりの横断歩道を渡ってから、左側に曲がります。1つ目の角を右に曲がって、図書館のすぐ先に、Sakura Express レストランがありますよ。

先週ジェシカさんが私に見せてくれた本が面白そうだったので、その本をかしてもらいませんか。

それでは、金曜日にあいましょう。

ピクピク


Self-evaluation:
My Lang-8 entry was read over two dozen times (I posted it twice), but only received one "correction" where the reader marked my sentences "correct." As such, I assumed that I did not make any mistakes. Nevertheless, my writing process was slow, so I would like be able to write faster. 

Update: I just received a correction where the reader actually made some corrections. I made one mistake on a particle usage, and my reader taught me a new word (くぐる), a more polite way to express a book shown to me earlier (use 見せてくれる)and alternative way to convey the same thing.

Update: Apparently I did not read the first reader's comments carefully. Although she marked the sentences correct, she made a few changes. The two readers both corrected my particle mistakes, but they seem to hold different views on certain expressions (such as その本をかしてもらい(え)ませんか). I will pay attention to these nuances and find expressions which best convey what I want to say.

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